Gamer Moms

The voice was high-pitched and desperate. Madeline gathered the folds of her cloak and swung into action. Using her compass, she determined that the voice was coming from the formidable Weehawken Woods, where innocent children were known to disappear without a trace. Madeline began running north, perfect 36-inch chest heaving, knowing it was a long journey fraught with peril. Still, she must try to save the little angel. Oh, no—she wasn’t ready for battle! No one was around to sell her a health potion or extra weapons. “I must do what I can,” she said firmly to herself. 

“Mom—I need toilet paper!”" I am the daughter of the mighty Lukaphon and..."

Poof. 

That was no angel, and it sure wasn’t coming from Weehawken Woods. Back to Planet Earth with a thud, Diane reluctantly got up from the Xbox to bring her six-year-old a new roll of Charmin. Just another day in the life of a gamer mom.

This scene is playing out in a growing number of households as women are trading TV remotes for “Wii”motes or just letting their trusty typing fingers do the toggling in the fascinating, seductive world of video games. Laundry, housework, dog-walking, bill-paying, even TV watching all take a backseat to a fantasy world of avatars who look like we wish we did, and who can do amazing, world-saving things.

“The female game basis has grown phenomenally over the past several years,” says Anna Chapman, 40, Vice President of Sales at Majesco Entertainment [majescoentertainment.com]. “Usually, we see moms 45 and up doing casual PCplay; younger moms are more hard-core gamers.” Anna plays sports games on the Nintendo Wii with her three little girls; after bedtime, she and her husband have been known to switch to romantic shooter games like Gears of War.

Current research shows that 40 percent of gamers, are women, according to the Entertainment Software Association, and women over 18 are one of the industry’s fast-growing demographics.

“Initially, moms were gaming for relaxation and escapism,” notes Maria Bailey, author of Mom 3.0: Marketing with Today’s Mothers by Leveraging New Media and Technology, and CEO of BSM Media [bsmmedia.com]. “Now they are also doing it to connect with their families.”

As game titles proliferate and get more and more “family-friendly,” they are being snapped up by moms who begin to see gaming as a golden key to spending time with their digital natives.

When her kids were small, Gigi Johnson, 46, played Toontown with them for hours. Now her boys play shooting games with dad and Gigi has migrated to the Wii. “My kids have to earn their game time by doing homework, cleaning their rooms, and folding laundry,” Gigi says. “But when Mom plays too, their game time is free.” 

On weekends, Coranne Lipford, 35, and her four boys often pile on her bed with the GameCube for some Mario Party 7 fun.

Gamer moms have the extraordinary satisfaction of pleasing their kids to no end by voluntarily playing a game with them, and actually enjoying what they’re playing. Instead of endless rounds of an arcane board game with a child too young to read and a dog that is determined to eat the tiny plastic parts, you can race a car and almost feel the wind blowing your hair.

“For kids, the ability to interact with their mom in a fairly egalitarian manner is a special thing that will enrich and deepen the relationship,” comments George Jones, editor-in-chief of GamePro magazine and GamePro.com.

Shannon Duffy thought it was just a phase when her two sons showed less and less interest in their non-computer toys. When she realized this “phase” had become a way of life for them she decided to investigate.

“They got a Wii as a gift last year, and I saw them having a blast and actually being physically active,” Shannon, 32, recalls. “I decided to see what all the hoopla was about firsthand.” It took her a long time to catch on but Shannon is gradually getting the hang of things. “The big draw for me was that it was much more than sitting on the couch and pressing buttons,” she says. During the winter break the family played Wii tennis for so long they could barely get out of bed the next day.

Truly, there can’t be anything more gratifying to a mom “of a certain age” than to get the delighted responses from her kids when she sits down next to them and grabs a controller. “My kids were bragging recently to one of their friends about how ‘well-geared’ I was and how well I play my hunter,” says Corranne, an avid World of Warcraft player.Once the shock wears off, though, mother and child may fight for space on the couch or the living room carpet while they test their knowledge, build a world, or solve a crime.

Halo 3, Call of Duty 4, World of Warcraft, and Super Mario Galaxy all have legions of devoted moms who have discovered that playing video games is deeply satisfying, often relaxing and just about the best escapist entertainment around.

From Atari to Wii

Early gamers remember sitting in awe inches away from the family Zenith television set (housed in its handsome wood cabinet) and playing simple games like Adventure and Raiders of the Lost Ark. The Atari 2600 had a joystick with a single red button and very simple graphics—characters were squares, a sword was an arrow and dragons looked suspiciously like ducks—but it was the first console that offered removable cartridges, meaning infinite possibilities for games. “This was mind-blowing technology at the time,” says Susan Arendt, section editor for The Escapist [escapistmagazine.com], and lifelong gamer.

As a college student, Ismini Roby, 31, used to lug her enormous monitor and computer around from state to state for “network” parties. “I’d play games all weekend next to people I’d only met online,” Ismini says, laughing. She now manages womengamers.com and has fun gaming with her son Sebastian, who is 4. Ismini plays all sorts of games and is happy to note that game makers are becoming much more inclusive, offering titles and marketing them so that they appeal to women, too.

There’s no doubt the Wii has not only revolutionized gaming but it has drawn an entire population into the realm of gaming that would otherwise have never ventured into it. “Inever understood the controller,” says Kristin Brandt, a 36-year old mom in Ashland, Mass. “If I got my character to do anything with the green, red, or blue buttons it was dumb luck. With the Wii, if you want to hit the ball, you swing the remote—that I understand!”

Wii brought movement and exertion into the gaming arena with offerings such as Wii Fit and Wii Sports. Then there is Guitar Hero, the mind-blowingly popular rock band game that started on PlayStation and is now available for both PS and Xbox. Suddenly karaoke night at the local sports bar is getting a run for its money with girlfriends in Wisconsin opting to stay home for a rousing night of Wii bowling.

Kristin races with a bunch of other moms in North Carolina, using Mario Kart and Wii’s internet connectivity. “Imeet up with friends and we drive our go-karts around the track,” Kristin says. “They kick my butt every time. Ican tell they’ve been playing more than Ihave because their karts are all tricked out—one of my friends must have been playing for weeks!”

What does this button do?

So, can non-gamer moms become gamer moms if they want to? Sure they can—but it’s not easy. “There’s a huge knowledge barrier to getting into gaming. It’s hard even to know what you don’t know,” says Susan Arendt. “There are thousands of tiny details that stand between the new gamer and actually having fun. It’s no wonder many folks give up.” The other significant obstacle to full-fledged gamer mom status is opportunity—or lack thereof. Can you remember the last time your Playstation console was unoc¬cupied? Lots of moms who might have taught themselves how to play couldn’t get time in. So they just shrug and say “it’s for the kids, I don’t have time for games anyway.”

Pat Bursell gave World of Warcraft to one of her grown sons in 2004 and he insisted that she try it. “I had never played an online game before,” says Pat, who is now in her early 60s.

Her first attempts were humiliating. “I kept asking, ‘how do you move?’ and I often went around in circles, especially when I was being attacked, and got nervous,” Pat recalls. “This was a great source of amusement to my boys.” 

Gradually, though, Pat began enjoying herself, especially as she mastered some quests and acquired more talents. Today, she is “an average high-end raiding character” and spends a lot of time researching play style and gear.“For me the scenery and effects are amazing,” Pat says. “I still like just watch¬ing how the sky glimmers and changes color.”

Some moms worry that gaming will not only turn their kids’ minds to mush but it will obliterate any other worthwhile pursuits like reading, playing outside, or nurturing other hobbies.

Julie Anne Maloney, 32, who abandoned video games for a long time because when she was young they took at-tention away from her, now has two small children. With all the newest offerings and more open playing environments, she’s returning enthusiastically.

“My oldest son is very talented at games, and started playing PS3 Guitar Hero when he was just one,” Julie says. “When it comes to games that enrich (kids) by teaching music and hand-eye coordination, I won’t complain.”

Finding a balance is important in gaming just like anything else, Ismini Roby says. 

“There were times in my life when I thought I needed to shelf (gaming) because I had so much on my plate,” she says. “But I have found that when games are not in my life, I build up a great deal of stress that I have great difficulty letting go. Where others might read a book or wind down with a movie, I use games to relax.”

“I still knit when I watch TV, sew when the mood strikes me, read before bed, and bake when the kids want a treat,” says Coranne. “I just have one more activity to add to the mix!”

Families who game together

The great thing about being a gamer mom is that the entertainment value is two-sided. As the saying goes, “when mom’s happy, everybody’s happy,” and for most gamer moms, happiness comes from play that is both relaxing and inclusive. 

“Just seven years ago, the notion that parents could play a video game with their two kids and that everyone would find the experience rewarding was non-existent,” George Jones says.

So really it all boils down to this: How is playing a rousing game of Smash Brothers Dojo with controls, a big TV screen, and two appreciative kids different from a night spent around the Monopoly board? Okay, aside from rampant life-loss and anime-style alter egos? We thought so.

Perhaps the busy mom could take a load off once in a while and take a stab at singing Steve Miller’s “Jungle Love” with her kids. Could be fun, and it will definitely score some solid points for family time. “At a very early age, my son has learned teamwork through playing cooperatively with me,” Ismini says.“I really love saving the world with him every night.”

Where Gamer Moms Gather

Gamermomsclub.com A social networking site where moms can compare notes on games, visit blogs, create their own page, and post videos.

Gamerchix.com A community primarily for women Xbox users. Tips, products, support, and a calendar that shows when fun things are happening in the Xbox Live community.

Womengamers.com A comprehensive site dedicated to the advancement of women as gamers and game designers. Compiles statistics for the industry, maintains a job board for game-related jobs, offers tons of downloadable games, and…well, check it out.

GamePro.com A magazine and website that reviews all types of games, equipment and game-related events. Has a site called GameProFamily [gameprofamily.com] where moms can check a game’s mature content level by watching videos.

TheEscapist.com A cool, comprehensive magazine for gaming professionals and enthusiasts alike. Features, columns,video reviews, and forums abound.

Twittermoms.com/group/gamermoms You need to be a Twitter Mom to become a Gamer Mom but the place is hopping! Lots of members and forum discussions, all centered around the wonderful world of Twitter. 

I’m one of those wannabe gamer moms who is trying really hard to master the games….any game,” says Erika Kotite. “I missed the Atari era by a few years and now I’m paying for it.” Erika’s career as a writer, magazine editor and content producer recently culminated in a partnership with longtime colleague Eileen Paulin to launch E2 Media, a content production company for traditional and new media. Erika lives in Lambertville, New Jersey with her husband and three children.

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