Balancing Act With Max - Part 14

What did I say about the anxiety dying down a few weeks ago? Huh, well it came for a visit just a few nights ago. In the cleaning mood because I had huge amounts of energy one night, I got out the rag and cleaner and targeted the base boards. Oh you know what I am talking about dear readers, it is the desire to clean in order to gain some sort of control within your life.

After the base boards, I began the task of mopping the kitchen floor, and Max wouldn’t stay in the living room and play. Why? Well because I am his mother, and he wants to be with me. Oh, I get it. I want to be with him as well, but while mopping he kept walking in, and slipping on the floor.

I had to get this done. I couldn’t wait until he went to bed. I was obsessed with mopping, over and over again. Max wouldn’t listen. I mean why should he? He is one, and he wants to be with his mom.

My obsessive need moved me to our bedroom, a cluttered mess that I hadn’t touched for a while because of time. Well I was going to take care of it, but just as I began, Max pulled open his dresser drawer, and began to pull out his folded clothes with a smirk.

I felt sweat form on my brow, and my hands began to shake. I knew I was going to be in a full-blown panic attack shortly. I reached for my phone and called Aunt Kelsey.

“Hi, what are you doing?” I asked with a shaky voice.

“Hanging out with Beth.” She replied.

“I am trying to clean, and I need help with Max.” I sobbed.

“Ok, give me twenty minutes.”

I was fully bawling now. Guilt-ridden, I reached for Max to give him a hug. I felt like a jerk, but immediately relieved because my sister was on her way to help. It is easy to ask for help, but sometimes hard not to beat yourself up for asking.

Normal right? Tell me what you think. Until next week. . .

Bio: Amy Morgan has worked in live news, production, public relations and marketing. A "jill of all trades" she has a great passion for photography, creative writing, reading and traveling. Always on the go, her most important job is being Max's mom!

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