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Is 40 really the new 20?

Barbara Mosser

Is 40 really the new 20

And sixty the new forty? What does that mean exactly? And who is saying these things? Seems like a lot of pressure if you ask me! Not to mention the fact that we have to remember what we were like 20 years ago. That could be a bit of a stretch if you’re at the far end of this mathematical conundrum! No wonder we have identity issues. Where does it end?

I want to age gracefully. No, I want to grow old gracefully. There, I’ve said it! I can tell you what that means, exactly. I want to grow AND get older. I can hear the gasps!  Get older, really? Really!

Not too long ago, my husband and I were enjoying dinner in one of our favorite restaurants, when my attention was diverted to the hostess escorting an elderly couple to a table close to ours. The gentleman was having difficulty walking and made his way cautiously to his seat. After being seated, he looked up at the youthful hostess, smiled and said, “you’ll be old too someday – if you’re lucky!”

His words resonated with me as I considered my own perspective on aging.

As we pass through each “season”, it is important to celebrate the joys and challenges, successes and disappointments, and ebb and flow of each phase of our changing lives. The spring of our life is a fertile period of growth.  Whether we are starting a family, a career or our own business, we are eager to construct our place in the world.

During the summer of our life, our beauty is defined more by what we are saying, doing and creating than it is by how we look. We become full and expressive. Like a summer garden, we are blooming with possibilities. There is a cultural tendency to associate youth with beauty, but the truth is that beauty transcends every age. As I pass through the autumn of my life, I may be dropping a few leaves, but there is definitely new growth!

Using Gail Sheehy’s words from her inspirational book, The New Passages, I am in the youth of my second adulthood.  Yippee! I’m excited! I am reveling in new adventures I only dreamed about in the spring and summer of my life. My marriage of 42 years is going strong and my children are thriving. Grandchildren now bring unimaginable delight and an opportunity to leave a memorable legacy. I am writing more! I have begun an acting career – community theater has given me the chance to perform. Auditioning can be a little nerve racking, but I am having fun! I am growing…and getting older. Lucky me!

BIO: Yippee! I am free to be me! I retired from a nursing career (and other various pursuits) last year and am now exploring and developing my previously dormant, creative self. I love writing, acting, and acting like I’m writing. I live in Tampa, Fl with Prince Charming and within sniffing distance of five delicious grandchildren.

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Comments

Submitted by Jenny Lind (not verified) on Thu, 08/20/2009 - 12:41

Barbara You should have included a picture of yourself, so everybody can see how vibrant you are. I didn't dream you could even have grown children, much less grandchilden. I recently met Barbara in a Readers Theatre class. She played one of the characters in the play I wrote as well as other roles in the other classmates' plays. We actually had two public performances and got rave reviews (at least from our family and close friends). What else keeps us "on stage" Now I see Barbara on the stage or in the audience at the local theaters around the Tampa Bay area. Long before I knew her, Barbara was instrumental in developing a program at the USF medical clinic where they use Standardized Patients, actors who feign illnesses for the medical students to exam, diagnose, and recommend a patient care plan. Thus, Barbara has touched my life in another aspect. I am one of those critters: a Standarized Patient. I go in sick as a dog and come home cured! My acting career has progressed from playing a crocus in first grade to being in the chorus of "Oklahoma" in college. Now after training in Readers Theatre, my acting career has soared to professional status, a paid actress. (Tongue in cheek). Who would have thought Medicine and Theater would come together in this manner. I never imagined in my "youth" that I (a basically shy person) would be doing these undoubtedly forward activities. I don't even think of myself as old -- rather, I think of myself as energized. I love the question: "How old would you be, if you didn't know how old you were?"

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