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What Being a Hybrid Mom Means to Me

We love this essay submitted by a writer from our community!
Darah Zeledon

Just like everything else I do in life, my creative juices that inspire me to write come in short, intense spurts as the pressure bears down on me knowing that at any minute, I will be miserably interrupted never to again recall my prior thought- thanks to my five high maintenance children. As I strive to juggle paying attention to my kids with my writings and sales calls to customers for my business, I find myself failing dreadfully by any practical measure. I meander from one task to another and take advantage of quick bursts of “down time” that permeate the household atmosphere sporadically throughout the morning.

What being a hybrid mom means to meI know, I know, I should set myself a schedule and designate specific time slots for all respective “departments” of my life each day, but I cannot operate that way. It’s too structured. Too obvious and all my anxieties would probably vanish if I had so much organization and discipline and that would be no fun! But is that really so bad?

Whatever the case may be, for us mothers who love our children passionately yet feel our calling extends beyond that of parenting, it is never easy; with or without “an organized system.” We feel ourselves as women with many purposes and by now most of us have gotten over the guilt of wanting components in our lives outside of our traditional roles as wife and mother.

However pragmatically speaking, we need order and direction to be able to synthesize it all together; yet we simultaneously require spontaneity in order to be able to make it all work. Leading such a colorful life full of dimension is truly fulfilling and when we keep ourselves on “stand by,” we recognize and take advantage of the unexpected opportunities that manifest daily. Things just pop up or we can pop them up- attending a daughter’s presentation at school, an unplanned trip for gas and snacks with the kids, a call to a client, coffee with an old friend, or going to a meeting.

It is a balance that is a work in progress and takes a lifetime to achieve and I doubt anyone really ever stays “there” day after day. There is no one right way to divide ourselves amongst so many competing factions. Each day brings new priorities and with a plan in mind, we have to also just “go with the flow” when the situation demands it. One day we may feel we neglected our children just a little too much or didn’t make our spouses happy by burning the rice or that we mishandled something important at work. It happens and we should expect these imperfections and not feel guilty.

Bottom line is that there is no recipe or list of “tips and strategies” to provide here. If we take care of ourselves mentally, emotionally, intellectually and physically, we will be empowered to wear our many hats with pride and confidence as we glide self-assuredly from one responsibility to another. We are hybrid mothers, bold women on a mission; women full of poise, integrity and self-confidence; fearless creatures

What does being a Hybrid Mom look like to you?

Bio: An active mother of five managing her own small business, Darah has just returned to the US after living nine years with her large family in South America.  Always through an angle of humor, Darah´s unique perspective of life raising five children in today’s world been strongly influenced by all her experience running a household and several businesses in several foreign societies.  www.positiveinchaos.blogspot.com www.thechaosminiseries.blogspot.com

 

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Comments

Great article Darah!! A Good Balance is the key to starting your day :)

The fact that you are telling women it is okay to be imperfect is great; because, really, there is no such thing as perfect. Great article and great point of view.

Great and important article to especially let all busy moms know it is okay not to be perfect and excel in all aspects of their life. If all moms could share this point of view and RELAX, there would be less stress and less need for drugs in today's world!! Kudos to the writer - let's hear more from her!!

Great article!!! Darah has captured what many women I know are feeling. I would love to hear more of what she has to say!

Very inspirational. Order verses spontaneity? What will be on the menu today? Living day to day is a much better perspective. "Living on Standby" is the definitive sentiment felt by many Hybrid moms. Love this article! Darah has great insight and would love to hear more from her.

You've succeeded in motivating me to think through some important issues!What I've learned is that balance might not be easily achievable but that focusing on the one activity/assignment/chore etc that you're doing at that moment results in a mini balance of its own. If I'm at the playground then I am really at the playground and nothing else really matters at that moment. Multi tasking is a recipe to failure when being a hybrid mom.

Nice article here by Darah...I wonder how all my mom friends do it...this gives me hope and reminds me that there is no perfect way, but there is room for creativity in motherhood!!

Not being a mother, it is difficult for me to comment; however, I do know the importance of "downtime" or your own time. We all have many, many hats to wear i.e. daughter, wife, sister, mother, aunt, neighbor etc. It is easy to get wrapped up in it all and lose sight of yourself. One must have a sense of the singular "I" before they can do a great job at the plural "We", so finding that alone time is very, very important and necessary to doing a good job when wearing your other hats, regardless of their titles.

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